We Can Prevent the Hidden Scourge of Senior Isolation

At OBW, we believe that stories don’t tell us what to think — they provoke questions, evoke powerful feelings, and inspire action. This is why we invite our contributors to share their reflections on our stories, drawing from both personal experiences and valuable insights. Often, this is underscored by a question — one designed to spark introspection and conversation.

Working on our multimedia feature, Maitri India Helps Abandoned Widows Regain Their Dignity gave rise to the question: Why should a person’s sense of belonging and worth fade with age?

“Life is valuable and an elderly person is not to be discarded, but an asset who can connect you to your culture.” Winnie Singh’s quote espousing intergenerational bonding struck a chord with me, having grown up with doting grandparents.

Working on Our Better World’s multimedia story on her India-based non-profit Maitri India — which supports elderly widows who have been shunned by their loved ones and society — resonated with me on an emotional level, as it evoked memories of my late paternal grandmother.

What conceivable parallels could be drawn between seniors from a joint family structure and those living on society’s fringes, you may wonder.

Senior isolation, an underlying theme of the story, is universal. A 2015 study conducted by Centre for Ageing Research and Education (CARE) at Singapore’s Duke-NUS Medical School revealed that 9 per cent of Singaporeans aged 62 years and older reported being lonely. This is despite the fact that many live in multi-generational families.

Feelings of loneliness are often looked asquint in Asian households, where the subject of emotional well-being isn’t your standard dinnertime fodder. Instead — in my family, at least — we express our care and affection through actions such as plying one another with food, or finding humour in the mundane.

Mama, my beloved grandmother, cared for my sibling and I unconditionally and unstintingly. So, when we later moved overseas for work and studies respectively, it took an ostensible toll on her — emotionally, mentally and physically. Bear in mind that she was, by no means, disadvantaged or neglected like many of Maitri India’s beneficiaries. On the contrary, she was surrounded by loving family and a shuffle of friends in the neighbourhood.

Yet, the through line connecting her with these ladies is how her sense of purpose was intrinsically tied to family. Like Maitri’s residents, the absence of loved ones to whom they’d devoted their lives left a profound void. Reading about their circumstances gave me pause to reflect on this question:

Why should a person’s sense of belonging and worth fade with age?

Thankfully, it doesn’t always have to be that way. I was moved by how the Indian widows find solace in one another’s friendship and spirituality — despite their despair at estrangement from loved ones. It bears testament to the importance of robust social networks for seniors.

Hence, it’s heartening to note that the needs of Singapore’s rapidly ageing population are being proactively addressed at both top-down and ground-up levels. In 2023, the government launched its Action Plan for Successful Ageing, which empowers seniors to take charge of their own physical and mental well-being through preventive health, active ageing programmes and care services; encourages them to contribute to society through flexible work arrangements and volunteer opportunities; as well as enables them to stay connected through social communities and digital literacy programmes.

In fact, active ageing centres have ramped up their activities and services to cater to seniors’ evolving needs. A while back, while covering a story on oral histories, I had the honour of meeting seniors at such a centre run by social service agency Lions Befrienders. It was encouraging to witness these individuals, slow in gait but sprightly of mind, bantering animatedly with one another — living in the moment.

There are also wonderful ground-up initiatives such as Kampung Kakis, which promotes intergenerational bonding by pairing seniors with youths to help perform their chores, thus staving off social isolation.

A part of me wishes we’d managed to convince Mama to participate in the raft of community activities available, which could have lent additional support in her twilight years. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for all our indelible memories and love. I’ll never forget our cackles and lessons — that in resilience.  The latter was gleaned from accounts of our great-grandfather, a penniless immigrant from China who carried night soil to fund his English lessons and later built a tin mining empire in Ipoh, where he was a respected philanthropist.

Our seniors are certainly to be cherished. While organisations such as Maitri India serve as a bulwark for those who have fallen through the cracks, we as individuals can also help bridge the gap hindering seniors from living their best lives — whether by paying more attention to their unspoken needs, or referring them to new avenues of joy, verve and meaning. In the immortal words of Dylan Thomas: “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”